…Continued from Previous Post – The ugly pants burn! An old resolution is torched and a new 2012 personal style makeover begins
I tie my sweater around my long johns’ waist for modesty’s sake, and get down to business, armed with a tape measure from the 10th floor (can’t wait until I’m allowed behind the frosted glass!) and my geophysical company’s office supplies. Turns out paper – a material I thought I knew so well – has a grain, a weft that must be respected for it to cooperate with the human form. I coax the curves with a staggered layering of scotch tape (packing tape proves too tacky and final). Cutting the pattern on the diagonal creates the chevron effect, and the fit is tailored with four darts on the front and ten ½” darts on the back – ending at different points to create a lifting effect that perfectly cups my….. Finally, to stabilize the shape of the side seams, I bend and tape in two thin pieces of metal I find digging through old printer/computer parts in our infamous ‘back room’.
Suddenly a revelation hits me; I’m having fun. But more than that, I’m entirely sated by my present, fully engaged in an interactive learning with the material and task at hand. My senses guide me through fluid problem solving with real time risks and rewards. Is this what she wanted me to know? Is this ‘blank canvas living’?
When I ring the buzzer on the 10th floor to return the tape measure, my new friend answers the frosted door herself. I do a few poses and show her my sketches, along with the results of my (trying to be super sexy in long johns, wool socks, and a paper skirt) self-timer, guerilla-style, file room photoshoot.
Her fluorescent pink lips glow even brighter when she laughs. “I had a feeling you were going to surprise me…” she says. “Let’s make an appointment for you to come back and take a tour. You know, I’ve been looking for someone like you for a long time.”
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Blank Canvas Living 
This is so amazing! Great post!
Thank you so much Zhenya! My coworkers were rather surprised, but they’re used to odd happenings in my neck of the ol’ office~wink
Not even possible. A pencil skirt made of paper. With the pattern made, so many possible drawings come to mind.
Do the chevrons mean stay back two body widths?
That’s right David, at least two widths for any curious geophysicists, and you’d better increase that distance by a hell of a lot if it starts to rain – or if the wearer forgets the properties of paper and, heaven forbid, sits down! A classic case of suffering for fashion lol Just add a pair of Reeboks (supposed) toning shoes and you’ve got your own office workout system.
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If I remember colcerrty, Tesla believed that there was a natural resonant frequency for the earth and if you transmitted at the right frequency, you could transmit the energy around the world with very little loss. Since there were no wires between generator and receiver, all one would need to do to receive power would be to string a wire and connect it to a load. The power was free in the sense that there were no wires going from the generator to your house, so there was no place to install a meter. He was able to light a string of lights, but he also did this out in the middle of nowhere where he didn’t have to worry about people being shocked from induced currents.
Ah yes Tesla… Lovely theory, but dangerously impractical in practice. I always wondered what effects his energy fields would have on the Earth’s magnetic field and our weather system. But in the end, just like the internet, the inability to make money off a system that is so universally accessible always throws a wrench into one’s pool of available investors.
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