Like any fool, I thought I could know change, before change. I thought it could be an intellectual exercise, a well insulated thought experiment – like Einstein sitting cozy on the train. But I was wrong. You must become change to know it. You must kill all the lies before you can find your truth. And in that gap, that terrifying moment of freedom, if you’re very lucky and very brave… it’s here you will know love.
But love is only the beginning. What happens now? After years, or maybe even a lifetime of doing battle with ourselves, how do we face the vast emptiness that opens up on the other side of peace? After the initial thrill of the quiet, escapes left behind, distractions abandoned and emotions faced, it’s hard not to fall into their echos out of habit. I don’t know what happens next. Should we just slide into the roles our paradigm is so eager to prescribe? How do we go from the panic driven pursuit of pleasures (theoretically ~wink) to purpose? What happens when we actually grow up?
I have never been a follower, but now I have no choice. The gift is too beautiful. The haven call of this new internal voice I’ve risked more than all to find – “I’m safe, I’m forgiven, I’m loved” – is leading me onto this vast open plain. I keep my eyes on her footprints because to look too far ahead is blinding. And I keep a keen ear for the gentle pull of her grace as I move slowly forward, because there will always be demons chattering at us to turn away. I write this honestly, with the hope that my words will help light a path. And so let us create this new world together. When you are here, you are fully human, and you are loved, because that is the gift I want to share.