Squatting in front of the bowl, bile yellow gloves deep in the cold liquid filth of a stranger’s body. Ultimate intimacy becomes ultimate service – no job more pure by definition. But truth is a poor man’s prize and her hands ache to create, to pump, to kill. Anything but clean. To erase someone’s humanity is a mockery to hands born only to glorify our fantastical, mutual destruction.
I have heard of a thing called pleasure. It sweeps across the desert, stinging my eyes and getting in under my clothes. Red faced and raw I let the force of it take me to the ground, obliterating my footsteps, erasing the past and all paths to the future. Continue reading
Many years ago, I learned how to fly. I’d jumped before, but had always fallen back. I can remember lying in bed using my preteen physics and philosophy to argue that silly adage: “What goes up must come down.” When I took my first flight I knew I’d finally won the debate. I reached into the clouds, then higher, and higher. Continue reading
How can he tell her he’s failed another interview? He leaves the manager’s office and fumbles back out into the mall. So much want – bright lights, everything shiny, everyone craving, buying, gorging themselves in the food court. Two cans of Dollar Store chickpeas wait at home, maybe a bedraggled onion and a bit of bread. His stomach aches, but not from hunger. Continue reading
Like any fool, I thought I could know change before change. I thought it could be an intellectual exercise, a well insulated thought experiment – like Einstein sitting cozy on the train. But I was wrong. Continue reading
A jewel wedge bursts in her mouth, but only with promise. The pleasure is too slow. There’s too much skin to peel, too many bits of pith to pick at. Sticky fingers and chew, chew… chew. Continue reading
Understanding why we love celebrity gossip is the first step to finding a healthy maintenance dose. The Weinstein sexual assault scandal – let’s hope it’s a tipping point! – exposes one of the underlying, yet rarely discussed, reasons why celebrity gossip is so delightfully addictive. Continue reading
Halfway through a sink full of dishes yesterday, I found myself staring into the face of doom. The betrayal was acute. Promises had been made, faith given, trust earned – now lost…forever. Continue reading
Is this the end of joy? Or the beginning? The fridge is sterile white, empty except for a single terrified tomato. Continue reading
You are risking everything reading this. And with these five words…even more. Because in these few seconds you have spread open the lobes of your brain and welcomed me in. How can I ever honour such a gift of time, of self, when the worlds I write could betray you so easily with a slip of continuity, a forced metaphor, a character left hollow by my impatience for your praise… Continue reading
Blank Canvas Living 