Why are we forced to choose? One man, one definitively flattering cut of denim… one dishwashing liquid. Why? When the character of every day is so different. Is it to make it easier for the rest of the world to pin us behind glass? To make us safe and predictable? I am not safe. I am not predictable. I am a woman, which is so much more fun!

Some mornings open with birdsong and good girl high-fibre-low-glycemic-index breakfasts, sun streaming into the kitchen, giving a holy glow to the purposeful motions of a fully moisturized body in perfect harmony with its potential. On these mornings you squeeze amethyst drops of Stonewall Kitchen dish soap onto your sponge and luxuriate in the remarkably natural fresh and floral scent of lavender and mint. The packaging is personal, like a hand lettered apothecary jar from a trusted sage. Calm and serene with a gentle smile you dig a few errant chia seeds out of the corner of a bowl. They loosen easily, no need to soak, because you’re on top of things this morning: doing the dishes, laundry, taxes, emails. Life hums with easy optimism and security – the milk is still wet.

But who does the world call when everything falls apart? When the black oily crude of life seeps into every crevice? We call Dawn dish detergent, whether for feathers or forgotten sink stacks of biofilm crusted dishes. On bad girl mornings chia seeds taste like blaspheme. The blind mad push towards pleasure takes over because what else is there when the sky is falling? Green like absinthe, there is a chemical edge to this Dawn Ultra New Zealand Springs “Escape” that hints at its dangerous magic. Because when you have an escape, you will take it. And so you milk your bad girl permissions and abandon the kitchen to its natural entropy; you shave your legs, match your bra and panties, and walk out the door to go throw yourself on the mercy of the universe. Because Dawn is waiting like a patient boyfriend to clean up the mess. Nothing cuts through the greasy stains of sin like Dawn. Alleluia and Amen!

I will not be forced to choose, at least when it comes to my dish soap. I am a good girl and a bad girl. There is no definitive product review. I am me. Go ahead and give yourself the same freedom! And if you have trouble asking the people in your life to support you in your fullness, your household cleaning products are a perfectly fine place to start.